Brenda was a student in one of the college courses I teach for a little extra spending cash. I do not have to work but it got me out of the house and put some cash in my pocket for a drink here, a rum soaked cigar there, or any little incidental my heart might desire.
She entered my class that first day like any other student. She caught my eye with her smile and soft movements of hair, lips, arms and hands; almost as if orchestrated by a mature conductor balancing and shifting notes to form sounds that are perfect to any ear.
The semester went on with the occasional talk or response to her assignments or questions; nothing out of the ordinary. I few weeks after the grades were released she e-mailed me about the possibility of lunch to discuss a project she wanted my assistance with.
We met at a sports club inside a major league baseball stadium. It was amazing as she was seated there with her dark hair with a conservatively wild, wind shaped style. Her lips with a soft pink lip gloss and lashes sculpted to draw a man’s eyes to them. We talked and ate and talked and shared and thought and enjoyed the sensual tension that dances between and older gentleman and a younger woman.
We began to meet weekly exploring the various cuisines in the city of this size; never returning to the same place more than once. Our talks were like a drink of cold milk on a hot day for me as the attention from her was intoxicatingly rejuvenating.
Eventually that first kiss arrived and I was so deep in love by this time that falling seemed like flying. She shared intimacies that I had never felt or experienced. The way her tongue darting in between my lips stealing my desires before I could quench them was surreal.
When she hinted at moving in together I jumped much like a kid would at cotton candy teasingly surrounding the senses of the body. We moved in and things were wonderful for that next month. I slowly began to adjust to her special uniqueness. I was deep in the well by this time and not a brain cell was wasted on thinking of climbing out.
Then one Friday evening Brenda called from work that she was going to happy hour with some of the girls from work. I felt odd but when she came home I was relieved. She had come home to change and her friend Connie was picking her up so she did not have to drive after of few glasses of wine. I got Connie a glass of wine when she arrived as Brenda was still preparing for her first evening out without me since we moved in together.
I had a pizza delivered and watched a basketball game and then some old movies. 10:00pm….12:00pm….2:00am? I hear a car pull into the drive and two car doors open and close. I was so happy she was home. I did not know what to do; should I wait up or go to the bedroom? I was frozen so I stayed still watching the old black and white movie. I could hear laughing outside the front door but it was not Connie. It was a man’s voice; laughing, whispering, I could not move. It seemed like eternity until it was silent and then the door opening and she was inside.
“Oh, you’re still up?” she announced in a louder than usual voice. I shared with her that I did not wait up and that I just got interested in the movie. She giggled and went off to bed. Nothing else was said.
Two weeks later the phone rang and it was Connie. She told me she would bring Brenda home later. I thanked her as I placed the phone down and repeated the Friday evening from two weeks ago, the last payday Friday. 10, 12 and 2 when the same car doors opened and closed. This time I heard her keys jingling the front door and in stepped her and a man. I was frozen still with eyes as wide as coffee cup saucers. “Oh, this is Todd” she blurted out as he closed and locked the front door. “Sweetie, he is pretty drunk and I do not want him to drive home. He is going to sleep on the sofa.” “You head off to bed and I will be there in a few”, she whispered.
I went to bed and laid there waiting for her, hearing that same laughter as before and the whispering. My heart was pounding and aching inside as wild thoughts filled my brain, bouncing off the walls of my intelligence. A little more than an hour and Brenda came to bed and was sound asleep in minutes. I laid there smelling the mixture of fragrances; wine, cigarette smoke, and a man’s cologne. I finally fell asleep fighting back my suspicions and petty thoughts of jealousy. Was I being silly or sound of mind?
In the morning I made them my famous omelets with all the fixings that I had been guided to prepare for my lovely Brenda. Todd showered in the guest bath while Brenda showered in our shower. He gave her a hug and shook my hand. I glanced to see Brenda smiling like the Cheshire cat. I was too afraid to make some silly and unfounded words about her two evenings out. I let it go; somehow knowing that was the best thing to do. I was beginning to question everything. I shook it off and forgot about it all the best I could.
Saturday morning came and I took her out for a very special breakfast as if I had been the one to come home late. The next two weeks were as wonderful as when we first met. I was nervous that next payday Friday as I relaxed and waited for the phone call. But no call? Around 10:00pm I called her cell phone and it rang – in our bedroom. She had not even taken her phone. I was incapacitated as the wild thoughts from weeks ago returned like a flash flood. It was 12:00pm when I heard her keys jingling at the front door lock. I was so happy until Todd walked through first and then she locked the front door and dead bolted. Something else was different, no cigarette or alcohol smells? Brenda spoke, “Here Todd let me put that in the frig while I make us a snack.
Not knowing what to think or do I just sat there quietly. It was as if I were not even there. Brenda and him were talking and whispering and laughing in the kitchen, then the hall, then the kitchen again. Brenda came over to my chair, placing her arms on the armrests her gorgeous face inches from mine, “You do not want to stay up while we watch this movie, do you sweetie?” as her eyes enlarged. I got up and slowly headed for the bedroom and she followed. I was excited for a moment thinking she was coming to bed. I turned to sit on the bed as she closed the door to her head at the opening, “I do not think it would be a good idea for you to come out for the rest of the evening sweetie.” Her look scared me. I laid there straining to hear the sounds if any.
In the morning I showered and dressed but did not leave the bedroom. I waited patiently as I heard him leave at about noon. Brenda finally came to the bedroom and walked around as if nothing had happened. She kissed me and hugged me, “I love you so much sweetie. I waited for so many years for a man like you to be in my life.” She softly whispered to me.
History repeating itself; the next two weeks were heaven sent after that last Friday evening. Nothing was spoken of the evening or night. I was anxious as the next payday Friday arrived but was elated when at 3:00pm Brenda walked through the front door. I lost twenty pounds when I saw her eyes meet mine. She was moving quickly and seemed nervous or upset somehow? “Is everything okay my love?” I asked unaware.
“No Todd is coming over and he is very upset, those idiots passed him over again for the Principal position he wanted in his district”, she stated angrily. He arrived a half hour later. I started toward the front door when she about mowed me down, passing me in the red nightgown I gave her for Christmas. I was terrified as she met him at the door. Hanging on his arm and comforting him. She was wearing just red lace panties, matching bra, white thigh highs with rose lace elastic tops and the silk outer cover of the red silk robe. I disappeared into the walls as she comforted him and walked him to our bedroom. She returned and hugged me. “He is very upset and he needs me baby”, she stated excitedly. I started to follow her when she turned abruptly. “We are not going to do this now. You need to disappear until tomorrow, do you understand? She closed the double doors to our bedroom and locked them tightly. I crossed the hall and lay on the bed listening to the sounds of passion and heated love coming from behind the closed doors. Fighting back the tears as erotic thoughts swirled in my minds eye. Imagining my erotic woman comforting Todd in the same way she comforts me. My masculine muscle tightening with each nasty thought. Tearing my mind into a thousand issues and sides. My love challenged, my manhood challenged, the love of her to be happy and fulfilled, imagining her atop his younger muscular body using him by pleasuring him using him; or is it me that is being used. Oh help me know what to do.
It’s a caveman, evolutionary thing to feel horny at a loved partner (or even family in few cases) being ravished. You love her. If it hurts you, talk to her. Don’t get mental damage from this, that affects your life. If you want to enjoy it, do. If you don’t, make like the majority of folk and be very unhappy, and sort it out normally.